


Expose

by vogue91



Category: Japanese Actor RPF, Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Affairs, Confrontations, F/M, Hurt, Jealousy, M/M, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 17:03:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14430168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: She felt uncomfortable being alone with Kamenashi. Just thinking about it made her feel weird.Not because she thought she owed something to him; after all, they hadn’t all been her choices.Jin had made his decision and she had agreed, and hadn’t considered Kamenashi because, in the end, it wasn’t her problem.





	Expose

She felt him moving inside.

Fast, almost brutal, as usual.

Not that she minded, anyway, all the urge he seemed to show toward her. It made her smile at times, like it did his total lack of control.

That then again, was what had dragged them into this situation, but she wasn’t going to pin it all on him.

She had done her part as well, hadn’t she?

She had, and she knew she would’ve had to make a decision, she just hadn’t expected for it to end up this way.

She liked Jin. He had more flaws than she could count, but he wasn’t made just of those.

And she was sure he liked her, somehow.

She wasn’t deluding herself; neither of them was in love, but somehow they would’ve managed to live with that.

She brought her hand behind his back, clawing hard at him.

It had been going on long enough, and she had found out what aroused him the most and had fun using those things against him, seeing him move faster, his eyes clenched, without looking at her.

At times she wished he would’ve, but she wasn’t demanding this much.

In time, she used to tell herself.

In time that would’ve come too, and she didn’t want it for some sort of romanticism, more to feel him like less of a stranger in her bed.

She tightened her legs around his hips, pulling him closer, moaning in his ear, because if there was nothing she could do to be looked at, then she would’ve been heard, and Jin couldn’t ignore that voice.

Not that he cared much, at that point.

She felt him bringing a hand to her hip, holding tight, almost hurting her, and so she forced herself to come before he did, feeling him thrust deeper inside of her, finding herself liking it more than she should’ve.

When he came as well he bit down on her shoulder, for sure leaving a mark, spilling inside of her and pulling out just a few seconds later, lying next to her and trying to recover.

Meisa closed her eyes briefly, than she sat back up, fixing her hair.

She looked at the ring on her finger, just a glimpse, and she couldn’t help but wince, glad that he had his eyes closed and couldn’t see her.

She still had to get used to all of this.

Get used to be married, have a husband, and it wasn’t made any easier by the circumstance that had brought to that marriage.

She turned to look at Jin, wondering what he thought about all of this, but she was never going to ask him.

He had looked so convinced when he had said he was going to marry her that she hadn’t doubted it was the right choice and that he was fine with it, but apparently she had miscalculated something.

Jin hadn’t asked her to marry him because he was convinced he could be a husband for her, he had just because it was his duty and because like this he would’ve kept up his charade, still acting like nothing had happened.

She bit down on her lip, feeling the sudden desire to hurt him, to punish him for having stuck her in that union that wasn’t so necessary as he had made her believe.

But that too was a desire she would’ve learnt to live with, just like she had with all the rest.

She turned her back on him, covering herself.

“Goodnight.” she murmured.

There was a pause, longer than she liked.

“’night.” Jin said in the end, and her lips thinned, still avoiding to speak.

They were both guilty, after all.

 

~

 

When she woke up next morning, the side of the bed next to hers was irremediably empty.

She tried to remember whether Jin had told her about his schedule, but in the end she decided it wasn’t even worth to make an effort this soon after waking up, and rolled into bed for a few more minutes before getting up.

It was a well-built routine.

She woke up, alone, she ate breakfast, alone, and then it didn’t take her long to get bored and call someone, or to go out for a walk, whatever brought her out of that house.

With the days going by she had come to the conclusion that as much as she could like Jin and Jin could like her, neither of them was cut out for married life.

Not like this, anyway.

She unwillingly got up from the table, putting the dishes in the sink and making as to go to the bathroom, to take a shower as long as possible, when she heard the bell ringing.

She frowned, looking at the clock.

It wasn’t so early, but she still was confused about someone coming over.

There weren’t many people already knowing the address.

Once reached the entrance she looked through the peephole, cursing silently.

Of all the people she would’ve expected to see at her door, he was definitely last on the list.

She made an effort to put on her best smile, before opening the door.

“Kamenashi-san.” she said, then she thinned her lips seeing his face. “I wasn’t expecting you. Did something happen?”

“ _Kamenashi-san_?” he repeated, sarcastic. “You’ve never been so formal, have you?”

Meisa bit her lips, then she sighed. She moved from the door, stretching her arm.

“Come on in, Kame.” she said, more than reluctantly, giving up from the start to maintain any good demeanour.

If he wasn’t expecting it, she wasn’t going to give it to him.

“Jin’s not here.” she said then while they went to the living room, even though she was under the clear impression that it was her Kamenashi wanted to see.

“I suspected as much.” he replied, sitting down on the couch, his nervousness betrayed by the way he brushed his hands over his knees, even though his face stayed neutral. “Aren’t you going to offer me anything to drink?” he asked then, smiling and nodding toward the kitchen.

Meisa sighed again, surrendering.

“I’ll go and make coffee.” she said, retreating to the other room.

She washed the pot, thoughtful, trying to take as long as she could so that she could buy herself some time.

She felt uncomfortable being alone with Kamenashi. Just thinking about it made her feel weird.

Not because she thought she owed something to him; after all, they hadn’t all been her choices.

Jin had made his decision and she had agreed, and hadn’t considered Kamenashi because, in the end, it wasn’t her problem.

But she knew, she couldn’t ignore, how he felt about Jin, just like she knew Akanishi hadn’t cut him off as he should’ve.

She didn’t mind much. They hadn’t sworn eternal fidelity to each other and she doubted they would’ve ever done that, but now she didn’t want to have any issue with Kazuya for something she had not saying in.

She knew what she was getting into, right?

She wasn’t more to blame than Jin was.

She poured the coffee in two mugs, bringing one to the living room to Kamenashi and finding him standing in the middle of the room, looking around.

“Not much belonging to Jin around here, right?” he asked, smiling and getting back to the couch, thanking her for the coffee.

“It hasn’t been long since we’ve moved in, there’s not much stuff of either of us.” she replied quickly, quiet bothered by his comment.

She knew what the elder wanted, but she had no intention whatsoever to play his game.

“Or perhaps he’s not planning on staying here long. It’s likely his stuff his all at his old apartment. You know he kept that, right?”

Meisa raised an eyebrow and smiled to him.

“Of course I do. We’re married, why should he keep something like that from me?”

Her voice showed an innocence that wasn’t actually there, but she didn’t care. The confusion going through Kamenashi’s face for that split second made her feel more confident, in that circumstance.

“What are you doing here, Kame?” she asked after a moment of silence, sighing and giving up on any façade the other had decided to keep.

Just like he had told her about Jin’s apartment, she had a pretty good idea that he wanted to tell her they hadn’t stopped seeing each other, that Akanishi wasn’t always where he said he was, that he was never going to belong to her because he wasn’t willing to give up on him.

And she would’ve smiled again and told him that she didn’t want him to, that it didn’t matter to what lengths he went to hide it from her, she always knew where and with whom he was.

And she knew he was never going to stop seeing Kamenashi, and had accepted that as inevitable.

She wasn’t going to give up on her life in the first place, not for a bump in the road.

“Nothing particular. I came to see how the two of you were doing. And...” he smiled, shrugging. “And to tell you that somehow I feel sorry for you.”

Meisa couldn’t help it and burst out laughing, putting the mug down on the coffee table and crossing her arms, shaking her head.

“Kame, don’t waste your sorrow on me.” she sighed, licking at her lips. “You know what? Keep sleeping with Jin whenever you want, and accept the fact that he comes back here then. I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it if I were you, because there’s nothing you can do about it now. He’s married me, we’re going to have a child and you will keep being his...” she stopped, seeing the elder opening his eyes wide, suddenly pale, and she understood.

She would’ve almost felt sorry for him.

Almost, hadn’t she read on his face the despise he felt, for her more than for Jin, hadn’t she realized how he deemed her responsible for what had happened, the _only_ responsible.

“Child?” he murmured, staring at an empty spot behind her.

“Child.” Meisa repeated, remarking the word. “I see he’s been more honest with me than with you, after all.”

Yes, perhaps she felt a little sorry for him.

She saw him confused while he tried to establish whether she was serious or not, while he evaluated the implications of what she had just said.

While he realized he had lost that battle that Meisa couldn’t care less for.

She could only hope he would’ve decided to finally let go of Jin, but she knew them both well enough to know it wasn’t going to happen, and that Kamenashi was going to put his mind through such a strenuous work that he would’ve managed to find an explanation to all of that, that he would’ve explained to himself why Jin hadn’t told him about the baby, and that the solution was still going to be Meisa’s fault, because he just couldn’t get mad at Jin. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have thrown to the wind the last years of his life like that.

“I better go now.” he murmured, going toward the door, unsteady.

Meisa nodded, biting on her lip and seeing him to the door, staying on the frame while he left.

“Kame...” she said, before he had reached the elevator. “I’m the  one who’s sorry for you. I am.”

There was no sarcasm in her voice, but Kazuya didn’t seem to care anyway.

He left without turning back, and when Meisa saw him disappear she sighed, getting back inside and closing the door behind her back.

Perhaps, it was really her fault.

Perhaps she should’ve said no to Jin, getting rid of the problem, not getting herself in a situation far too complicated for her to actually control in every detail.

Perhaps it was her fault.

Or perhaps Jin was just too good at messing with people’s lives.

 

~

 

“Kame was here today.”

Jin had barely made it to the leaving room and greeted her.

She saw him freeze, his eyes wide open and his expression annoyed.

“Oh. Weird, he hadn’t said anything about...” he paused, sighing. “What did he want?”

Meisa shrugged, without tearing her eyes from the magazine she was browsing, sitting on the couch.

“Nothing. Just see how we were doing, seeing the new apartment... nothing important.” she dismissed him, and she would’ve almost rejoiced of the anxious look on her husband’s face, hadn’t she been so damn tired of the whole situation.

“What did the two of you talk about?” he asked, feigning indifference.

Meisa smiled slightly, not long enough for him to notice.

“Nothing that will make you lose your toy, I think.”

By the corner of her eye she saw Jin open his mouth as to reply, then closing it back right away.

“I’ll go change.” he just said, leaving the room and looking defeated.

Once alone, Meisa let go of the magazine, brushing her hands on her face.

It was too soon for her to be so tired already.

It was too soon to realize that Jin didn’t care, not about her and not about Kamenashi.


End file.
